I Lived in Japan for 4 Years — Here Are 12 Unspoken Rules To Follow When You Visit

Ever had that moment when a room falls silent and you have no idea why?

I did, my first winter in Tokyo. Packed on a rush-hour train, my nose started to run.

I did what I always did at home: pulled out a tissue and blew my nose loud and proud.

The reaction was instant. A sea of sideways glances. Not a single word. Just that quiet, heavy kind of look.

That’s when I learned a truth about Japan: the most important rules are the ones nobody tells you.

After four years living there, I learned to “read the air” or kuuki wo yomu (空気を読む) as the Japanese say.

Below are 12 hidden rules I wish someone had told me on day one.

Navigating Public Spaces with Grace

1. The Sound of Silence: Why Trains are Quiet Zones

The first thing you’ll notice on a Japanese train isn’t the speed or the punctuality, it’s the quiet.

Even when a subway car is packed shoulder-to-shoulder, you’ll rarely hear more than a low murmur. Loud conversations and phone calls are major social faux pas.

In a country as densely populated as Japan, public transport is seen as a rare moment of personal respite. People use their commute to decompress, read, or rest. The collective silence is a shared agreement to protect that peace.

It’s a practical application of wa (和), the cultural value of group harmony. So, put your phone on silent and enjoy the quiet ride.

2. The Escalator Dance: A Tale of Two Cities

This is one of the most visible yet confusing rules for newcomers. In Japan, there’s a “fast lane” on escalators. The confusing part? The side you stand on changes depending on the city.

In Tokyo and most of the country, you stand on the left and let people pass on the right. But in Osaka and the surrounding Kansai region, it’s the opposite: stand on the right, walk on the left. When in doubt, just do what the person in front of you does.

One theory suggests Tokyo’s “stand left” rule dates back to the Edo period, when samurai walked on the left to keep their sword-hand free.

Osaka, a city of merchants, saw people stick to the right to protect the money bags they carried. Observing this is one of the most interesting unspoken rules to follow when you visit.

3. Your Trash is Your Travel Companion

You’ll walk through pristine city streets and notice something missing: trash cans. Public bins are incredibly rare in Japan.

This is a system built on a high level of civic responsibility. The expectation is simple: you take your trash home with you.

I always carry a small tote or plastic bag for this purpose. The main exceptions are convenience stores (konbini) and vending machines, which usually have bins for items purchased on-site.

This is a core part of Japanese etiquette for foreigners; don’t burden the public space with your personal waste.

The Unspoken Rules of the Japanese Table

4. The Money Tray Shuffle: A Hands-Off Transaction

When you go to pay at a shop or restaurant, you’ll see a small tray on the counter.

Don’t hand your cash or credit card directly to the cashier. Instead, place it in the tray. They will do the same when giving you your change.

This is a subtle ritual of politeness that creates a respectful buffer in a transaction. A direct hand-to-hand exchange can feel a bit too forward in Japan.

For an extra touch of respect, use two hands when placing your money or card in the tray.

5. To Tip or Not to Tip? (Spoiler: Don’t)

This is one of the easiest rules to follow, but it feels strange for many Westerners.

Do not tip in Japan. Ever. It’s not part of the culture, and service charges are already included in your bill.

In fact, trying to leave a tip can create an awkward situation. The staff might get confused or even chase you down to return your money.

This is because of omotenashi, the Japanese philosophy of wholehearted hospitality. Excellent service is considered the standard, delivered with pride, not something you need to pay extra for.

The best way to show your appreciation is with a polite “Gochisousama deshita” (thank you for the meal) as you leave.

6. Pour for Others, But Never for Yourself

When you’re out for drinks with others, a crucial piece of etiquette called o-shaku comes into play.

The rule is to always pour drinks for your companions but never for yourself. You should keep an eye on your friends’ glasses and top them up when they get low. In return, someone will do the same for you.

This is a social ritual that builds camaraderie. It forces everyone to be attentive to the needs of the group, strengthening social bonds.

You’ll notice that sake cups are often small, which encourages this frequent, reciprocal act of pouring. To receive a drink, hold your glass up with both hands.

Rules for Inside Spaces: Purity and Respect

7. The Onsen Ritual: Wash First, Soak Naked

Visiting a hot spring, or onsen, is a must-do experience. But it comes with a strict set of rules rooted in concepts of purity.

Before you even think about getting into the bath, you must wash your body thoroughly at the showers provided. The bath is for soaking, not for cleaning.

You’ll be given a small “modesty” towel, but this towel should never touch the bathwater. It’s considered unclean and would contaminate the pure water. Most people place it on their head or on a rock beside the bath.

And yes, you go in completely naked—no swimsuits allowed. Also, be aware that many onsen still prohibit guests with tattoos, due to their historical association with the yakuza, or Japanese mafia.

8. The Slipper Switch: A Common Tourist Faux Pas

In Japan, the line between the “outside” and “inside” is very important.

You must always remove your shoes at the entrance (genkan) of a home, a traditional inn (ryokan), and many temples and restaurants. You’ll then change into indoor slippers.

But the slipper shuffle doesn’t end there. If you use the restroom, you’ll find another, separate pair of toilet slippers waiting for you. You must switch into these and, crucially, remember to switch back when you leave.

Accidentally wearing the toilet slippers back out into the main room is a classic, and slightly embarrassing, tourist mistake.

9. Don’t Eat and Walk: Savor the Moment

Even if you just bought a delicious snack from a street vendor or a konbini, resist the urge to eat it while walking.

This is widely considered rude in Japan. The proper etiquette is to find a spot to stand or sit and finish your food before moving on.

This rule is partly practical. It prevents messes and bumping into people, and partly cultural. Eating is an activity that deserves a moment of attention and appreciation.

It also solves the trash problem; if you eat near where you bought the food, you can often dispose of the packaging there. This is a simple but important aspect of Japanese etiquette for foreigners.

Final Must-Knows for a Smooth Trip

10. The Discreet Nose Blow: When in Doubt, Sniff

This brings me back to my train story. In many Western cultures, blowing your nose is hygienic. In Japan, the loud, disruptive sound is considered a greater offense than quiet sniffling.

The socially acceptable thing to do is to sniffle until you can find a private place, like a restroom, to blow your nose properly.

This is why you’ll see so many people wearing masks, especially during allergy season. It helps contain things discreetly.

11. The Ghost in the Machine: Let Taxi Doors Do the Work

When you hail a taxi, wait for the rear passenger door to open by itself. Japanese taxi doors are automatic; the driver controls them from the front seat.

Don’t try to open or close the door yourself, you might break the mechanism.

This feature was widely introduced for the 1964 Tokyo Olympics as a form of omotenashi to welcome foreign visitors. It’s a small, thoughtful gesture of service designed for your convenience and safety.

12. The Art of Omiyage: The Souvenir That Isn’t for You

In Japan, souvenirs are a serious business. But omiyage (お土産) is different from a personal keepsake. 

It’s the obligatory gift you bring back from your travels for your family, friends, and coworkers. These are typically local, edible specialties, beautifully packaged for easy sharing.

The act of giving omiyage is a social ritual. It says, “I was thinking of you while I was away,” and serves as a way to share your travel experience with your community.

This is a fundamental part of Japanese etiquette for foreigners and shows a deep understanding of the culture.

It’s All About Consideration

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t be. All of these unspoken rules to follow when you visit Japan really boil down to one simple principle: be considerate of others.

Japanese people are incredibly kind and will not expect you to be perfect. They know you’re a visitor. But making an effort to observe and respect these customs will go a long way.

So, read the air, be mindful, and have an amazing trip.